It’s hard to motivate myself in quarantine.
My mom mentioned this newsletter over the phone. She asked how it was going and told me her friends were excited to read it. I admitted that I had been putting it off because it felt overwhelming.
She told me to-
Set goals
Stretch
Workout
Break things into small steps
Try and figure out the outcome to strive for and make a plan
I pulled out a piece of paper, wrote everything I needed to accomplish and then broke it down into what was manageable. I started writing this post after procrastinating for days. I forgave myself for moving at my own pace and allowed myself to breathe. I tried to remember what my long term goals were and encouraged myself to enjoy the work I had to do.
I always feel better after accomplishing things I have been avoiding. I read that anxiety can manifest as avoidance and procrastination. I decided to try and get to the root of my self-sabotage and figure out why I am such a chronic procrastinator.
I came to the conclusions that I fear producing work that isn’t perfect. I put such intense pressure on myself to create amazing things that it can be easier not to create anything than something I’m not proud of. I also realized that I have been in the habit of avoiding things that are uncomfortable for so long that the neural pathways of productivity feel foreign. I have told myself so many times that I am “too ADHD” to focus and a lost cause. I’ve convinced myself that it is hopeless to try to get work done.
As I write this post I am creating new neural networks in my brain that love the feeling of getting work done and are willing to accept imperfection. I am *trying* to change my internal monologue to convince myself that I can complete things and that I love getting work done. I am writing this post to come back to when I feel like I can’t focus and to help you realize that you are capable of productivity just like everyone else.